"If aliens wandered by our neck of the galaxy in the last decade, it's no surprise that they haven't stopped to say 'Hello'-- they are probably still laughing at the operating system most of our computers use."

Eric Bailey -- explaining why, if aliens are here, they haven't made contact.

"I'm not a

but I play one in my marriage!"

Eric Bailey

"I'm efficient.... eventually."

Eric Bailey

"Begin. The rest is easy."

Origin Unknown

"Reality is that which still exists when you stop believing in it."

Anon (seen in The Daily News)

"Sorry, I don't know any cool handshakes."

Eric Bailey

"In a world full of false logic, a truly logical person will annoy a lot of people."

Eric Bailey

"Then the (fill in software name) will just have to work the way I want it to!"

Name(s) withheld to protect the stupid

"Computer is Latin for 'work-a-round'."

Eric Bailey

"Do you constantly think about design/colour? Do you carry a sketch book filled with ideas? Every time you walk into a room do you automatically think about how to redo it? If you do, you're thinking like an interior decorator. Stop it and give yourself a slap. Try to do something useful with your life...."

Eric Bailey

"Feng Shui this!"

Eric Bailey

Not quite the same impact without the gesture, but think about it for a minute.... go to Feng Shui Editorial